Out: A Gay Priest Reckoning by Stephen Vincent DeLeers

Now available in paperback and e-book on Amazon

Book cover of Out: A Gay Priest Reckoning, a novel by Stephen Vincent DeLeers, showing a martini with a crozier-shaped cocktail pick before a stage curtain

Catholic priest Dominic Clayson thought he had it all: elite min­istry, world travel, trusted friends, plenty to drink⁠—and a rest­less drive to sat­isfy his sex­ual desires. His was a dou­ble life: prom­i­nent pro­fes­sor by day and boozy gay adven­turer by night. Did a reck­on­ing await?

This sophis­ti­cated novel pulls back the laven­der cur­tain to reveal the hid­den lives of clos­eted sem­i­nar­i­ans and priests; the com­pro­mises of bish­ops; and the guts of the Catholic Church, from doc­trine to gay real­ity⁠—all through an unflinch­ing look at one man’s jour­ney into priest­hood.

And out.

Father Dom’s duplic­ity grows ever deeper dur­ing a piv­otal era, as the mid-1990s give way to the mid-2000s. He’s there as the inter­net emerges, AIDS rages, 9/11 ter­ror­izes, and the Church is gripped by a sex­ual-abuse cri­sis of its own mak­ing.

Out: A Gay Priest Reck­on­ing is the por­trait of an out­wardly suc­cess­ful yet deeply con­flicted man⁠—and of a Church, and cul­ture, in tur­moil.

Stephen Vin­cent DeLeers is an edu­ca­tor, author and edi­tor. He remem­bers well his years as a Catholic priest.

Reader reviews celebrate OUT

This is a rich, psychological novel of addiction, of a man’s public face and his private face, of the irreconcilable conflict of trying to live one’s values in an institution that is incompatible with one’s desires.

You may read a hundred books about the Catholic priesthood—not one of them will be as fiercely honest as this one. The writing is incisive: I can still feel the teeth marks on my psyche.

This rich and unflinching novel carries the reader through personal struggle, hard-earned insight, and triumph. That’s no simple task when the adversary is Goliath: an institution among history’s oldest, most influential, and most unyielding.

Out is an intensely personal look at a man’s journey into adulthood and professional success even as he struggles to accept himself. Gay or straight, Catholic or not, you will learn something as you travel with, cheer on, and sometimes cringe at the paths this priest follows as the requisite reckoning approaches.

I had tears in my eyes as I finished the story and read the epilogue.